Love Language Explorer Gifts

"If I were a car, you could find the words."

"Actually, I don't mind, disparaging remarks are her love language."

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

I will study my speling words...

Thru versus Through Traffic

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Wok. Don't Wok.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"