Love Joke Lover Pillows

'Of course I love you for yourself, silly, I couldn't care less about the thirty five million, six hundred and ten thousand, two hundred and four pounds and sixty eight pence in your bank account.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Your lobster was off!

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Doggone

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Vegetarian Birds

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Reading the sports pages.

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

What do you suggest we do about this?

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

Next to Nothing

"I cross the road to forget."