Love For Clever Jokes Gifts

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'Shuck me.'

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Fetch the Boomerang

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

'Pavlov's first experiment'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

Home Business - Wife.

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'You can tell me anything, Mrs. Rojak. I'd never violate the sacred fish store-customer relationship.'

Happy Xmas

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

'You look lovely today.'

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"

"Carl has decided that, with the economy being the way it is, he's going to be a stay at home son."

'I knew it! Come back here!'

Cloning departments

"Believe me, you don't want to know where it all comes from."