Fan Of Clever Humor Gifts

"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Tell me about the birds, Forget about the bees,'

"Bless You."

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Menopause and the City

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"I'm not normally a big fan of slapstick comedy, but seeing ol' Hotchkiss there..."

Fetch the Boomerang

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

Remember you predicted some 'difficulties' with my bank?

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

'Nah, the Boss ain't in yet. Can I 'elp?'

'You really should believe in yourself.'

Beach Attraction

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

'What do you think about renewable energy?'

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

Dog emojis.

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'Is $8.5 million really worth all this?'

'You look lovely today.'

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.