Fan Of Clever Humor Gifts

"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Tell me about the birds, Forget about the bees,'

"Bless You."

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"I'm not normally a big fan of slapstick comedy, but seeing ol' Hotchkiss there..."

Fetch the Boomerang

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

'You really should believe in yourself.'

Beach Attraction

Remember you predicted some 'difficulties' with my bank?

'Nah, the Boss ain't in yet. Can I 'elp?'

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

'What do you think about renewable energy?'

"He's a Baumaus student."

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

'Is $8.5 million really worth all this?'

I slept funny last night!

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

'You look lovely today.'

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."