Fan Of Clever Jokes Gifts

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Bless You."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Fetch the Boomerang

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

'Nah, the Boss ain't in yet. Can I 'elp?'

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

"He's a Baumaus student."

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

New Shoes.

"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"

Cloning departments

'As I see it, there are two groups. Them - who came from nowhere and wear fig leaves - and us, who have been around for a long time, and are just trying to evolve.'

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

Jimmy Carr

Lost & found dept.

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

Bird Feeder Restaurant

Loterie Francaise...

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

'This corn tastes funny. I heard they're leaving out the antibiotics.'

'Thanks but we really can't accept...'

'Tell me about the birds, Forget about the bees,'

Toady of the Month.