Fan Of Clever Puns Gifts

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

A Brain Drain

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

"This must be for charging bigger vehicles."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

The static electric eel is very rare.

Weather forecast

Hell's Schlegel

Larry's Literary Market.