Love For Clever Jokes Prints

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'Shuck me.'

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Fetch the Boomerang

This is awkward, but I need to ask if you'd like to donate your body to science.

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

Every year at harvest time at least one stalk has to joke that he's Van Gogh.

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

Home Business - Wife.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'You can tell me anything, Mrs. Rojak. I'd never violate the sacred fish store-customer relationship.'

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

'You look lovely today.'

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

Happy Xmas

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"

"Carl has decided that, with the economy being the way it is, he's going to be a stay at home son."

Cloning departments

'I knew it! Come back here!'