Love-centered Living Pillows

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

You're the olive in my martini

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"Swing me with your words."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"Oh-oh...the way she said 'Jason'...I think its time to define the relationship."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Aging together

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

How to feel confident in love & war

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"I married for contrast."

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

...In a Relationship