Lost In A Hospital Adventure Gifts

"We must be in the wrong wing."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Being Serenading in Casualty

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"What should we do with this extra part?"

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Don't get any ideas, mister -- I recognize that look in your eye!'

'Well my inner diagnostician thinks your inner diagnostician is completely off the wall.'

'Laughter is the best medicine. So... Here you go!'

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Actually, it's a quite routine operation -- would you like to make it more interesting?'

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"One minute I was CEO the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

"Your wife says she's experiencing nausea. Could you leave the room?"

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'

'Nurse, that isn't a catheter you've just inserted. It's the other end of my hosepipe!'

'I never make the same mistake twice!'

'What possessed you to stick a fork into the toaster?' 'It's easy to be wise after the event!'

"He's one tough cookie. I've never seen anyone bounce back from an autopsy before."

Medical mishap.

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'