Lost But Laughing Gifts

'Due to the fact I'm hopelessly lost, I'm willing to waive the rule against talking to strangers.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

Looks like another profit's warning

Missing my hair.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"Left, right, left, then straight ahead."

Ed is upset because he didn't get the promotion he had promised himself.

"It's a snowman, dear. Assembly required."

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

Mountain escalator.

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"This better be high tide."

'Do not do anything reprehensible you are on camera'

Mourning Pens

The clown you should've stopped following hours ago

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

"Where have you been?"

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."

'Oh, what the hell, let's stick it over there.'

"And you can forget about a decent bagel."

'Typical!'

You are Nowhere.

G.P.S.: You Are Here.

Right way

'Any restrictions on the amount of luggage you can lose?'

Lost Biker.

'I hope you haven't been picking at it.'

'You are hopelessly lost.'