Long-term Diagnosis Seeker Gifts

"Your last 120 visits haven't been a complete waste of time, at least we've discovered why you're exhausted!"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Pet a Puppy

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

Pony Rides

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I hate all holidays!'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Turmoil change.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."