Long-suffering Spouse Gifts

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Cog-In-The-Wheel

Behind Every Stupid Man

'His wife is very supportive.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'Swear on your unpublished novels that you will support each other's ridiculous dreams.'

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"Every time I think we've sorted our marriage problems out, he comes home again!"

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

'Is there a lemon law for husbands?'

Next years calendar.

"I should've done this years ago. All the good ones got taken."

Oh, for Pete's sake take some this medicine. You're useless, but at least it will make your COUGH more productive!

He loved a sea very much

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"I'm going to check out a couple of antiques." "Good luck with your breast exam."

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

'Those are the family I'd have if I believed in a Work/Life balance.'

"Dear, what are your thoughts on gay marriage?" "All for it. They should suffer like the rest of us."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"I always take an interest in my husband's hobbies. . . that's why I hired a private detective. . ."

husband bites wife's arm in bed and dentures come out

'My wife is out of town. That's the diet cam.'

"I'm feeling a little ephemeral today."

"Let's face it, Babe. . . you aren't the men you used to be."

"I'm going out to shovel snow. Here's five dollars if you talk me out of it."

'I wish you wouldn't bite your nails.'

"We never close, do we, Howard?"

"Oh no, even more misery"