Long-distance Anniversary Pillows

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Progress of a bookshelf'

So Close..

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Missing You.

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

WHO checklist

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"Excuse me, but have you ever thought of play the mandolin?"

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

'Did you say psst?.'

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"Ballroom dancing helps us over our rough spots."

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

Employee lays in his 'OUT' box

WPOV's (White People On Vacation)

"I propose we build a panic room."

'She nitpicks all the time!'

You make me want to be a better bum.

Beauty and the Beast