Lonely Hearts Club Member T-Shirts

Missed callers on a desert island.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'Boy, this is the last time I ever answer my own personals ad.'

Snub Marine

the ventriloquist

Welcome to Burt Jenkins: Pop. 1.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'Eat at my place, I'm very lonely'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

ONE HORSE TOWN

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Drinking Companions

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

Cricket wife's revenge 9

"Plenty of fish"

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

'Some people don't like working from home - they go a bit mad with the solitude.But I've got you, haven't I Mr Floppity Ears.'

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

Day 14 of self-isolation and the cat still hadn't responded to any attempts at conversation.

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

I'm looking to settle down with a nice light bulb, should I try the internet.

Hunters And Gatherers Without Partners.

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

'Over five thousand friends, and not one remembered my birthday.'