Loneliness Investigator T-Shirts

"Ever feel like the world doesn't know you exist?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

Cellphone Islands

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"That's exactly what I keep telling myself!"

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

"All of my friends are imaginary."

'I'm worried about myself, Doc...I'm not spending much time with other cats.'

Desert Planet

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Your contact tracing revealed that you have no life."

'I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?'

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

'I'll need four character references.'

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"If you love yourself then you'll never be alone."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

"I'm not afraid of being alone. I just need someone around to discover my corpse because I can't afford a housekeeper."

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

"sometimes it gets lonely being self employed and working alone."

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"You're not really into this, are you, Frank?"

'Woodruff, find out everything you can on a crazy thing called 'love'.'

Dave never figured out whether he was the world's only living brick, or if everyone else was just facing the other way."

"Ok, I've made it. Now I need love."

The Loneliest Job in the World

"How was your lonely little dinner, sir?"

Wasn't sure why, or even what it meant, but sometimes he just needed to make his presence felt.

'Why are the others always in the majority?'