Lone Gourmet T-Shirts

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

Soup of the month.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

The Main Types of Cheese

To do before Saturday...

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Too much cilantro

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Cheese

'Is this still America?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Holiday Supplies

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"