Lone Gourmet Gifts

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

Soup of the month.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Too much cilantro

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

To do before Saturday...

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Holiday Supplies

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Is this still America?'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"