Locks Gifts

'Sorry, I can't help your friend with lockjaw.'

'Brush your key's teeth before you go to bed. Grind your keys, and the world grinds with you. Stick a key in your pillow for good luck ...'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"Beware of Don"

Scarecrows guarding a field

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Moulin Rouge Security

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Mou...Man trap!

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'