Locker Room Detective Pillows

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"We've discovered two new organisms growing from school gym lockers."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

Invasive species reach Ken's sock drawer.

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

Size matters!

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

"Illegal or not, I'm pretty sure they pray in there."

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'Let him stay, coach. He couldn't find his team's locker room.'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

'Hey Kekyll c'mon you should have changed by now.'

'You've lost a step...'

Football coach has an in box labeled 'Receive' and an out box labeled 'Kick'.