Locker Room Legend Pillows

'Why the numbers on their backs?' - 'So the bodies can be identified.'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

'Let him stay, coach. He couldn't find his team's locker room.'

'Go out and win one to maintain you current lifestyles.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

Cleaning Lockers.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

You Don't Know What It's Like

Born to play ball.

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Relax, the game is over.'

You were great last night

Size matters!

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'He took a pass and disappeared?'

'Oh, yeah, and no whackin' off the night before a game!'