Locked Room Aficionado Pillows

"I think I need an extra pillow."

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"I know I said you could retitle your office, but..."

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

Mom! Of course I know it's spring outside! Look at all the allergy commericals!

Bring Out Your Dead. . . Stay In Your Bed.

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

Shark picking lock to diver's cage.

Houdini's lesser known brother Carl.

'I didn't realize the locksmithing test would be this tough.'

Prisoner with lots of Locks.

"There's a rumour going round that one of you is planning an escape."

Lost your keys, but can't afford a certified locksmith? Hire they guys at Very Cheap, but Very Effective Door Opening Service.

'I don't care what you say.. it's too cold to stand out there.'

Security.

People Who Love Teleworking

'This is great, we'll take it.'

'He's always wanted an adjustamatic.'

A Pad-Loch

"It's his birthday."

Single locksmith in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your locks.

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot - thanks!"