Lockdown Renovator Gifts

"When things have returned to normal I might take this up for a living whaddya thing?!!"

Painting by the numbers for adults

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Lockdown casserole

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

A cock up of builders

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'