Loch Ness Fan Gifts

'Pay no attention to any silly stories, I've been here two hundred years and never yet seen a monster.'

Tourists and their Pets.

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Loch Ness Beer Monster

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

Couch and Potato

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Scientist seen on loch.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

Edna spots the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

Weather forecast

"Your eels are enormous - where do you get them?"

"Woke up this mornin', Found myself trapped in the Blues genre..."

'Are you sure this photo is of us? It looks like a couple of floating logs to me.'

Leonard Cohen

'Well I'm blowed if I know what any of this means!'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"They've always scared the hell out of me."

"Yeah, I used to ride a bicycle in the circus, but the gag was that it was way too small for me: kids loved the act..."

"I graduated magma cum laude."

"I've seen every goddam film ever made...twice! What the hell am I supposed to do now??"

Paul Simon

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

'George, are you SURE this is the seminar we signed up for? I haven't heard a single word about managing cash flow in a small business!'

Clown eating jelly beans.

Fa la la la la la la la la la!

'Oh, I never vote -- I'm afraid of getting mixed up in a cult.'

"Ok, what's so unique about you, Mr Superhero who's never been in a Hollywood Blockbuster man?"

"This is a good time to be a fish."

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."