Local Wildlife Observer Pillows

'The good news is you don't have termites. The bad news is you have beavers.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"Sign my yearbook?"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

"Look, a bug!"

Fly Fishing

Duck Hunt

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Piranhaclaus

"Mind the whale, dear."

Bears catching fish

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'I admire your floatibility.'

So you're a mocking bird...

"Tallyho!"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'