Local Politics Aficionado Gifts

Parecel Tax

I'm declaring my candidacy. For what? Health Commissioner of Candorville, the fine nearly township from whence my clan hails. I'm going to right the ship of America. Bring it on, whiny Democrats! I miss the jungle.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Sir Winston Churchill

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

That's What Happens

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Barack Obama, Angela Merkel and David Cameron are ecstatic about the possibility of a free trade agreement between the U.S. and the European Union.

Joe Biden

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

John F. Kennedy

Scapegoat of the Year

"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Legalish

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

Steve Bannon Loves That Donald Trump Exists Outside Linear Time

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Hostage Crisis Continues: 'We don't care what the people voted for! We want out way!'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

New GOP Election Laws: "Look at it this way. . . we're making it easier for you to climb that tree...!"

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

Martin Luther King and Obama.

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

Eye Off the Ball

William Pitt the Elder

"Destroyers"

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."