Local Affairs Aficionado Gifts

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Our Two Parties, Explained

Turkish Democracy

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Armageddon

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'What I have to do first?!'

Scapegoat of the Year

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"Hey... friends and allies can trust the USA!"

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Classic News.

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Think tanks.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

Bigot Spigot

'Our next 'cake walk' in the Middle East... will turn out to be a 'pie in the face.''

The Truth

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."

Buy a politician.

"For the latest in politics, I hand you over to Barb, who will mold your simpleton minds like clay. Barb?"

"Today's robe is called 'Ukraine'. How do you like it?"

"Resistance" Democrats Promise Bipartisanship with the Same Republicans They Called Scum

'The Sadly Insanes do Baghdad.'

Iraq War Correspondency on a Budget