Local News Enthusiast Gifts

'We don't get any channels, but we pick up what's going on in 79 neighborhood homes.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Capital Tours

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

Classic News.

'You've been killing files again.'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Big Newspaper Delivery

Charades

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

Best Political System Ever

"So how much money do you make?"

Trump's Torrent of BS Is Distracting Us From Real, Actually Important, Issues

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'

The wave of immigration issues about to hit Obama's plan and the Supreme Court ruling.