Local Politics Gifts

'So we've put the bin out ten minutes early, it's not as if the council will know...'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Notice to clear vegetation' hacks his way through garden using a machete.

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

' I don't know what all the fuss is about. I'm barred from the White house too. And the Copple house, the Black bull, the Prince George, the Farmer's arms...'

Young people have no voice in this matter.

"Good to see they're finally doing something about that."

"Whose idea was it to defund the sanitation department?"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"They're spelt differently!"

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Self Serve Road Repair.

We're from the City Zoning Commission, sir -- we've decided to tear down your house and put up a slum.

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

Inside County Hall: Lift Max Capacity, 4 persons.

District Budget Meeting: Asprin

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

"We find that we have to put this on all public consultation websites ..."

'The anger management class ruined our budget when they ordered love seats.'

Planning Department.

'Something tell me they're expecting a low voter turnout.' (Polling station is a phone box.)

Elect ME, your neighbor!

Jackie Weaver