"I don't like the news. It's like they know what scares me."
Local News Critic Pillows
Add a touch of humor to their favorite space with a pillow that captures their critical eye and love for local news.
"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"
Trump Poutine
Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.
Sign Reform
Rumors, lies and innuendo.
"Political cartoons that make people think? Are you crazy? We don't want to distract our readers from the weather forecast, the horoscope and the advertisements!"
"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"
"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."
Flake News
"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"
"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."
"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."
The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.
"Tell me again. Is this guy the newsman or the newsmaker?"
Victims of War
"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"
"They're spelt differently!"
Which One is Pulling Out?
'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'
"Let him who is without 'spin' cast the first stone."
You know what I like best about fake news, Randy? It can be crazy and have shady sources and be obviously nothing but nonsense, and it'll still be believed. Like that fake story about Saddam Hussein and those weapons of mass destruction and stuff. Fake news is only "fake news" if it's not from people who say they're real news. You can't tell me Wolf Blitzer's beard is real.
Lose the Iraq War.
Fake News, 50 cents.
LEV Trump
Up-to-the-minute reporting from our man on the street.
"To be perfectly frank, the preceding was a paid political bunch of lies."
'And now a look at tomorrow's front pages - the Telegraph leads with 'ultimate makeover guide', while the Mail has 'a fantastic new you'...'
'Not only is it full of bad news - it's printed on your mother.'
"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"
Empathy School for Trump
"And in local news, somebody pooped on the Jenkins' lawn again."
How to Fight Censorship
Who reports on the reporters?
'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'
Local News Critic Pillows Collection
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