Local Drink Aficionado T-Shirts

'It's from the local microbrewery.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

We'll have Manhattans...

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Happy Hour

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'I know it's gassy...'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Shaken not stirred

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'The King of what?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Prawn Cocktail Please

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'