Classic Drink Aficionado T-Shirts

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Happy Hour

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Shaken not stirred

You're the botanicals in my gin

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'The King of what?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"They grow up so fast."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars

Rabbit Punch

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Easter Island moai as cocktails.