Loan Laughter Lover Pillows

'Why yes, we'll give you this loan however you must agree to wear this tracking device.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Snowprov

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'Wait a minute....!

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

'Doctor Corazon, I'm in love with you. You make my right ventricle go pitter-patter.'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

Hip Operation

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."

"We've got borrower's remorse."