Live Stock Lover Gifts

The day the stock market went UP.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

Chase me, chase me cows.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

Cheesie Rider

Larry's Literary Market

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

Sick Rancher Humor

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Stock market worries.

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'As expected, your shares of de ja vu are rebounding, again.'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'