Live Match Avid Pillows

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

'We're in a hurry.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Football tournament fever during office hours.

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

"There was excitement at the match today, when a discussion over a VAR decision was interrupted by football breaking out on the pitch..."

Masochistic Soccer Fan

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

'The new Hawkeye proves a hit with most of the crowd at Wimbledon.'

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

"You know, if it wasn't for the players, we'd have a good team."

Ghana 1 - Germany 0

"All the atmosphere of 'Henman Hill', but without the travel costs!"

God/Saint Watching Football.

The Alter of Football

Football

'It looks like a fantasy football injury.'

"I've changed my mind, we'll have three twelve minute rounds!"

Cricket

A boxing referee with a black eye

'He's signalling to the pavilion...He seems to want something...I can't tell what...'

'You're right. These are great seats."

Rocky Smith finally met his match.

'A wide wide'