Little Health Expert Gifts

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"It failed the stress test."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

Junior Doctor.

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'I insist on a nurse being present.'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'I'd like to extend my overdraft...'

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

"I don't know about you, but I thought we'd be fully vested by the time we reached 4th grade."

Junior Doctor and Junior Insurance Salesman

Obesity in America.

'I went through the data and found an 11.7% increase in the discretionary spending portion of our family budget, so I see no reason not to raise my allowance.'

"Why does every disaster movie start with the government ignoring a scientist? Like that would ever happen."

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...