Litigation Leader Gifts

Who to Sue Today.

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'What'll it be?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Another slander suit!"

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'It's a treasure map.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Jaws 3 - The Litigation

Law Offices

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

"He said his first word today - compensation."

'I would advise against suing the devil, his lawyers are really good.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

The Washington Arbitrators