Literature Junior Gifts

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

Thomas Mann.

"Meet the author"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Do me next."

Tut and Carmen.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

The Bookworm

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.