Little Literature Lover Gifts

"Dad, I checked a book out at the library...can you read it with me?"

'I'm reading at my grade level, but it turns out there's just no great literature written a my grade level.'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Thomas Mann.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

The DaVinci Code

Victor Hugo

First Novels.

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Jean-Paul Sartre

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Shakespeare was bisexual

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."