Literary Vandal Gifts

"At least see who the author is."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"So, what are you reading?"

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Book Thief in True Crime Department

A General tries to get rid of peace.

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

Mr Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare.

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

Revenge Graffiti.

"Hmmm... there's something not right here..."

'The Wall is Your Oyster.'

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

Hi! I height Beowulf.

"Mmm... our situation reminds me of an Edward Lear poem..."

Reading

Crime section.

Go Veggie...

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate

"Walden Pond is fine as long as Thoreau isn't there."

Wordplay: Graffiti.

Failed Bond Villains.

"New Classic Books Revamped for Today's Youth"

BOOKSHOP, 'Are you sure you want that, sir? - You don't really look like the Tom Clancy type.'

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

That's right! I'm River Banksey!

"Yer know I hates it when yer read over me shoulder!"