Literary Strategist Gifts

Books the Prof Ordered. . . More Cost-Effective Books Ordered By The Bookstore Manager.

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

'I sent out for everything.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

A Hole in the Dike

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Under new blame.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

Coronavirus Windmills

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

"Take me to your thought leader."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'It's true. There was a coup.'

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."