Literary Horror Enthusiast Pillows

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

First Novels.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

Voltaire

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Now I really hate poetry."

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Don Quixote

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"Author does not do tricks."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

George Orwell

Sue the Author 3PM