Literary Elitist T-Shirts

"What are you pretending to be absorbed in?"

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Sue the Author 3PM

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Yes, one is a dog."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

Treasure Island Book.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Trilby - Finis

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'