Literary Elitist Pillows

"What are you pretending to be absorbed in?"

Wussapalooka

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Sue the Author 3PM

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Treasure Island Book.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Addicted to reading