Academic Elitist Pillows

“Don’t underestimate his lawyers. They went to Harvard.”

Geek wears T-shirt that points to his friend and says: 'I'm with someone who fails to grasp the key principles of modular representation theory.'

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

"Sorry, this is NOT a school, it is a university: we have an entrance exam..."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

Tea Snob.

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'It's terribly frustrating. For 37 years he's been trying to prove that things equal to the same thing are not equal to each other.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

"One thing I'll say for us, Meyer--we never stooped to popularizing science."

"They all failed?! What on earth was the question?" "How do you fund a university?"

"Sorry, sir. But if you can't pronounce it, you can't have it."

Bonfire of the Paperwork

'There's nothing wrong with being highbrow.'

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

'Then I say to myself, 'What's the use? There isn't any Nobel Prize for math'.'

'Well, if you need me to put it into 'layman's terms' maybe you should be talking to someone with a lower IQ.'

Wussapalooka

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

Academic Jeopardy......'If we peg a value of five to irony, and we assign a value of two to sarcasm, then what numeral must we allot to disappointment?'