Intellectual Elitist T-Shirts

"I'm a voracious amasser of reading material."

Paul Ree

Miss America IQ Pageant

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"Yes, one is a dog."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Assertiveness

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Lost and Profound.

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

Tea Snob.

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"You're terrific, Katia. You think like 'The New York Review of Books' and look like 'Vogue.'"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

'Thoreau had his Walden Pond, C.J. has his water cooler.'

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

Toni Morrison

Philosophers On Strike

Soren Kierkegaard

Thomas Carlyle

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'