Literary Elephant Gifts

Colin's insistence on 'keeping in role' when writing his animal tales made it difficult for him to develop relationships.

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

The practical psychopath

"Oh, this old thing?"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

Hold for one more page, then roll over into the bended elbow, resting chin pose. Book yoga.

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Ok, ok, last page.

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Cat with Crown.

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

T. S. Eliot

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

Ben Jonson.

Alexander Pope

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"I wonder what odds you would have got for that happening?"

Charles Dickens

'I don't want to talk about it.'

The Origin Of Cliff's Notes

'To the horror of bystanders. The 'Amazing Jimmy' miscalculates as he attempts to juggle a pin, bowling ball, and an elephant.'

Roger gets banned from the waterhole for a month

And after you finish studying for the Shakespeare exam, you can experience the tide in the affairs of men by taking a bath.

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Kelly was the first to do Shakespeare in the park.

Distilled Elephant

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck