List Master Gifts

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"FISH ON"

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Stick man throws arm for dog

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

Thanks TSA

Printing Room

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Pirate

'If he says 'got milk', I'm gonna bite.

'You're nice, but I'll need to run your proposal by my attorney, accountant, web master,job coach and HMO.'

'Better not circulate these.'

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

'I know that we once made a list of all the things we'd do when the kids left home but I can't remember one of them!'

'Our Web design company had a financial reversal last month. We made money.'

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

"I'm guessing with all that mold coming out of your computer, it's been awhile since you've added fresh content to your site."

'Ok, the mailing list didn't work well, but do we have to burn it?'

A woman watches hands come out of the washing machine.

"No need to brush your teeth, Grandpa. I put them in the washer with my clothes."

Wanna hang later? Yep. You meatheads are standing side-by-side texting! Why not just talk to each other?! Because: Your eyeballs are burned away from staring at your screens and you can't see actual reality!!!! I hear strange rhetorical noises. Put on your iPod LOUD and they'll go away.

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

Large handbook for hand held PCs.

"This is why you read the instructions."

'I don't like this predictive text.'

Playing Scrabble.