Liquid Dietician Gifts

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Chez Nous Menu

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'