Liquid Courage Enthusiasts Pillows

"Alcoholic? The way you say it, you make it sound like an insult."

A Good Batch.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

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Wanna talk about it?

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

My first mistake.

"I'm addicted to water."

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Right now we're at a budget impasse. I maintain that you provide an essential service, and my wife feels that you do not."

Profiles in Courage

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'I don't rate black lipstick - liquorice is less messy and more flavoursome.'

"For a full third of my life I didn't drink. I was asleep!"

An artists drinks alcohol while painting on a canvas.

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

Congratulations, Willis. You're being promoted to 'partially treated sewage'.

'When I told him we had no wine, he just kept going.'