Liquid Asset Admirer T-Shirts

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Money Bar.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Mine's bigger than yours."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

"Can you imagine the start they give their own offspring?"

'Oooh, honey, will you get me that one?!'

Haunted museum

When I make it, I like to see it.

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

"He's everything I want in a man."

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'

Cash by any other name.

William and Real Estate

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

"We should've stayed on land, and grown feet and kicked ass."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'